its not stalking. its research.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
