i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize