just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
