just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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