A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize