I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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