belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
