I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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