it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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