Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
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