fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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