but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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