She's JV to your varsity
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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