sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
