Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize