He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
