Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize