allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
