There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize