She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
