it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
