Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
