we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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