You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
