cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
