My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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