He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
