are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
