I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
