Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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