Dignity is for republicans.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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