I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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