she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
