South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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