tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize