are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
