We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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