and you said cock pushups were impossible
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
