I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
