Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
COCAINE IS GR8
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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