imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
