I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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