Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Randomize
