Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
