I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
