allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
