I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
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he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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