I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
