Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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