There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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