White coat. Heels.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
