Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
