shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
